Leading Online Relationship Service Applies Scientific Research to the Healthy
Fear of Commitment in Dating Relationships
DALLAS, June 8 /PRNewswire/ -- Building on its status as the only online
relationship service to employ truly scientific methods in determining
romantic compatibility among singles, TRUE(TM) today uncovers research on the
fear of commitment that hinders relationships from attaining new levels.
Recent stories of runaway brides such as Jennifer Wilbanks of Georgia,
eternal bachelors like George Clooney, pseudo bachelorettes like Angelina
Jolie, and on again/off again-ers like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee,
reinforce common beliefs that fear of commitment is widespread, fatal to
relationships, and may be most prevalent in men.
As a relationship develops, one or both participants may want to escalate
the relationship to the next level, such as moving in together, introducing
the significant other to family and friends, agreeing to date exclusively,
saying "I love you," or even walking down the aisle. Often one of the
barriers preventing relationships from progressing is fear. True.com's
scientific research shows that fear -- the threat of becoming emotionally
invested in a relationship or becoming vulnerable -- can be a healthy sign.
"Relationship fears signify potential threats to our emotional health.
This is why people often deal with fear of commitment with the classic 'fight
or flight' response," says Dr. Jim Houran, chief psychologist for True.com.
"Growth in a relationship often leads to healthy apprehension, and these
pauses help us pace our relationships. But unfortunately, many people become
so threatened that they engage in constant fighting in an attempt to push the
other person away or they leave the relationship to avoid confronting the real
issues at hand."
True.com's research reveals that the typical themes that flood someone
with fear of commitment follow a chain.
Fear of being hurt -- This fear derives from previous experiences or
observations of other relationships. The memory of a failed relationship can
hinder the growth of an emerging relationship.
Fear of trusting another -- Similar to the fear of being hurt, the fear of
entrusting oneself to another can be the result recurring thoughts of past
heartaches or the observations of bad experiences of others. Moreover, the
longer a person stalls commitment, such as co-habitation or marriage, the more
reliant that person may become on oneself. True.com member Twyla of Denton,
Texas, says, "I was on my own for so long and became accustomed to relying on
myself. This made it difficult for me to trust another person to care for
me."
Fear of not finding your soul mate -- People under 35 report a higher fear
of commitment, as do people more than 60 years of age. Singles in these age
ranges often have higher expectations for relationships and are afraid of
settling for someone who doesn't meet their idea of an ideal mate.
Fear relating to relationship performance -- "The 'you're too good for me'
syndrome can hit people of any age," says Houran. "Singles sometimes feel they
are inadequate and will never quite measure up to the expectations of their
current or potential partner."
Fear of sacrifice -- Relinquishing one's identity and independence for the
sake of the relationship can be a crippling fear for career-driven, self-
sufficient singles as often seen with celebrity couples.
"This chain is a useful tool toward helping singles better identify their
fears," says Houran. "The TRUE Compatibility Test has been scientifically
validated to help people assess their expectations for relationships and their
readiness to commit. Unfortunately, several online dating services are
pushing people prematurely toward marriage or touting 90-day, cookie-cutter,
assembly-line schemes that are mere gimmicks designed to mislead singles into
thinking if they follow these unproven steps, they'll find lasting love. Fear
of commitment can be a healthy warning sign that a couple needs to slow down
in order to assess expectations in the relationship. However, fast-tracks-to-
marriage, which can often invoke more fear, are not healthy."
A critical component for relationship satisfaction is taking the time to
recognize any noncommittal characteristics you may be displaying and being
realistic with yourself and your partner about your expectations. True.com
has developed a quiz that will test your relationship fears: True Fear Factor
Quiz. Additionally, with the help of Psychology Today's team of relationship
psychologists, True.com offers free guidance for singles from a long list of
well-known and respected experts.
Further underscoring the scientific merit of TRUE's psychological testing
methods, TRUE's research on fear of commitment will soon be published in an
article in Psychological Reports. Learn more about fear of commitment in
TRUE's online relationship magazine, True "U", at
http://www.true.com/magazine/psych_foc.htm .
About TRUE
TRUE is safer, savvy, and the only scientifically-based, online
relationship service whose mission is to help singles find long-lasting and
fulfilling relationships. Founded on an advanced, scientific compatibility
test uniquely endorsed by Psychology Today and independently certified by one
of the leading experts in tests and measurements -- Integrated Knowledge
Systems, Inc. -- to meet the Standards for Educational and Psychological
Testing, TRUE is the only online relationship service that actively seeks to
further protect the safety of its communicating members by conducting
extensive criminal background screenings. Moreover, TRUE is the only site to
conduct single verification screening. With the help of proprietary research
and the industry's most extensive team of scientists, relationship experts and
psychologists, TRUE also guides its members step-by-step through all stages of
the relationship-building process.
To find out more about how TRUE helps people around the world Live, Love
and Learn(TM), please visit http://www.true.com .
SOURCE True.com
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Related links:
http://www.true.com
http://www.true.com/magazine/psych_foc.htm
Company News On-Call:
http://www.prnewswire.com/comp/919610.html
CONTACT:
Taylor L. Cole, APR of True.com,
+1-972-402-4813, or Taylor.Cole@TRUE.com
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